Saturday, December 25, 2010

Certificate of citizenship?

Hey fellow its been 40 days since we got home and still hasnt arrived yet. How long did yours take to arrive? if it doesnt come next week, do you know who I can reach out to? Its one of the last remaining to dos from the paperwork, so anxious to get it done!

Thanks and Happy holidays!


Friday, December 24, 2010

Polina's first Christmas at home

We had a very successful Christmas today with Maggie's family. Polina was dressed in one of her new outfits from the babyshower and had a blast! She was the hit of the party and enjoyed the gifts, the family and the tissue paper (see the video!). When she wakes up tomorrow Santa has some more gifts for her. We are very glad to be sharing this holiday season with our new little one. Happy holidays everyone!

The wills Family

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy holidays - A year in review

Just wanted to say Happy Holidays to everyone in the blogger-world out there and do a quick braindump of what this blog has meant to us.

When we first started this process a year and a half ago, we felt very alone. All of the advances of science and medicine and a few years of trying to start a family didnt work for Maggie and me. We had spent tens of thousands of dollars, and every month that passed by, was another month where our dreams were pushed aside. It was easy to get depressed, but we stayed true to each other and supported each other as best we could. We had always talked about adoption, but when the IVF didnt work, it was time to actually start the process.

We didnt know anyone that had adopted, and didnt know what we were in for. Over the months (and year..) we worked thru mounds of paperwork, heartarche, headache and then one day a picture arrived of a beautiful red-headed little girl. The same day, a few hours later, the Tori Hanson case broke and again our hearts sunk.

We started to blog, and read other people's blogs and become friends with more and more people who were going thru (or went thru) what we were going thru. The blogging community (and fellow adoption families like Craig and Kelly) became more than just friends to us, but outlet to share emotions, share joy, share sorrow and share HOPE.

Now that we are thru the process, want to really extend a warm thank you to everyone who helped us with advice, their prayers, and the love that we received. There are many of you out there who's blogs we have read who have inspired us and touched us. We dont often comment, but we read them and feel a closeness to the words and the stories. I think sometimes we all forgot just how wonderful people can really be with all the negative news out there, and how busy we all get with our own lives and struggles...however, the stories and people on these blogs are special and inspirational and should be cherished and celebrated!

Really, just want to thank everyone and wish everyone a happy holidays. For those of you that have completed the process, we hope that you and your new family have the warmest of holidays. For those still in the process, stay strong and keep the dream have people that care about you and support you. happy holidays everyone and lets continue to change the world for the better. Much love everyone....

The (new and improved) Wills Family

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Always time for dancing

Polina loves to dance to music....especially hip hop and club music with a good beat. enjoy....

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

No time!!!

I haven't been too good at posting anymore. Being a stay at home mom I have been very busy with Polina. She has changed so much already. It will be a month on Dec.16 since she has been home. She added more words to her vocabulary.She now says hi,ball and makes animal sounds for cat and dog. she is super smart and really picks things up really fast. She has a great personality and always makes everyone laugh. She has been spoiled by my parents and sisters. Every time they come over they always bring something with them. She doesn't care for toys she just rather be held,kissed and loves when people have conversations with her. I feel like I talk none stop for 24 hours. a day. she loves music and will dance in the bathtub and while we change her diaper. all of a sudden she will just bust out dancing it's really funny. We should definitely video tape her so all of you can enjoy it too. now she is taking her morning nap and finally I can throw things into the crock pot so Randy can have a nice meal when he comes home from work. that's about it for now let me start cooking before she wakes up....

Monday, December 6, 2010

Adoption baby shower - a success!

We had well over 40 people at our house this weekend to celebrate the little one's arrival. We didnt want to jinx anything by having the baby shower before we got back from Russia. A lot of friends, family, food and even another adoption family (Craig, Kelly and Katerina) stopped by for a day of fun! Everyone was so generous and we had a lot of family helping to get the food, clean up and make sure everyone had a great time.

Polina was really great with everyone! She loved all the attention and looking at all of the new gifts. She received a lot of great clothing, some beautiful Christmas dresses, toys, books and everything else she could use. We are really lucky to have so many wonderful friends and families.

We know what a tough process this has been, so our thoughts are with those still going through the process. Much love, luck and blessings to those other adoptive families waiting for your little ones. We will be thinking of you this holiday season.

- The Wills Family!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

doctors appt. and blood work

Polina has been adjusting very well into her new life. she has been sleeping 10-11 hours at night.She runs around smiling and happy. At the orphanage she didn't smile when we looked at her and now she smiles just because she can. Today I took her to the lab for blood work.Thank God it was one pinch and they took all the viles of blood they needed. I was afraid that they wouldn't get it on the first try but they did. This Saturday we finally have a baby shower planned for her. We will have it at our house and we will have all kinds of Polish food. I am just really looking forward to relaxing. my sister has planned the whole thing from decorations to food so I don't have to worry about a thing and that includes the clean up after. My family has been so amazing.My sisters with watching Polina,cleaning the house, my mom cooking dinner and soups. My pregnancy is going well so far I will be 4 months next week. I am a little nervous because before leaving for Russia I had a pap smear done and when I came back they told me it came out abnormal. I wasn't expecting such news but they told me just to make an appointment for next month which is now. So I guess it can't be that bad since they are not seeing me till Dec.23rd. My sister was in the same situation right after giving birth to her son. I went on line and it said that it's not uncommon for pregnant women to have abnormal pap smear and when your pregnant they wait until you deliver the baby to do something about it but you can also have normal pap smear after delivery. So on the 23rd they will look through some microscope and if anything they will take a biopsy. I have been trying not to think about it since there is nothing I can do. Whatever will be will be I guess. I just have to stay positive. That's about it for now. I finally have time to update she is taking her morning nap.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

First Thanksgiving

Was a success! We went to Maggie's sister's house and then a friend's. Polina had a lot of food....turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, carrots, and some deserts. Of course she was the life of the party. She still doesnt go to the men in the family, but is okay being carried by the women. Some pictures from the holidays are below. She loves taking baths now, and sleeps thru the night. We think we have our schedule down now. One nap a day does it...if she takes two, then we are all awake at 2am! Happy thanksgiving everyone!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sleep thru the night?

Okay blogger friends...need your advice. When we were in Russia, Polina would sleep 8 straight hours, sometimes 10. Since we are home, she is getting up at 2am every morning. We have tried one nap during the day, two naps during the day, trying to get her back to sleep when she wakes up, etc. We try to get her to bed between 7 and 8pm for consistency. Any advice? Thanks!

Other than that, she has been wonderful! She loves baths, drinks from a sippy cup, smiles a lot, etc. Now...if we can just get sleep a later later, Mommy and Daddy would be happy!


Saturday, November 20, 2010

making progress!!!

Polina has really changed over the couple of are some lists of things:::
- she finally loves taking baths. she didn't want to get out yesterday.
- she drinks from sippy cup when my nephew does it.
- she says cat but doesn't pronounce t at the end
- she has been eating lot. She loves chicken noodle soup,banana,grated apple
banana puffs,pasta and sauce,farina, we are working on the drinking. If we give her chicken noodle soup we just add more water. I changed her diaper this morning and for the first time it was really heavy.
- she goes to bed at 7 or 8 and still gets up around 2 or 3 in the morning. we are working on that.
-she smiles all the time now.
-she runs around the whole house like she owns the place.
-she has been much better with randy and will actually go to him sometimes especially when he throws her up in the air.
-she has little bit of eczema from teething and chewing so I have been putting special lotion on her face.
-she weights 22 pounds and is 33 inches tall
-she loves my sisters and parents
-loves going outside
-she spoon feeds herself. she tries really hard and loves to be independent and we let her even though its a big mess.
-she mimics everything we do. if we show her something once she knows how to do it.
We love her so much. I can finally share that Polina will be a big sister. I am due may 28 and their birthdays are going to be 3 days apart. After trying on our own,IUI's and Ivf we just gave up getting pregnant and have decided to adopt. To our surprise I found out I was pregnant and the very next day we got our court date. We are blessed beyond belief and never in a million years we would think this would happen to us.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

We are settling in nicely

We still arent adjusted to East Coast time yet, and Polina keeps getting up at 2am, but we are getting there. She loves her new house and really has started bonding with us. She even let me carry and play with her while mommy went to her Doctor appointment today. Some updates:
* We went to the SS office today to apply for her new SS#...should arrive shortly
* Polina has started to try new foods and so far, likes meatball, LOVES banana puffs, likes the kids macaroni and meat pieces, still likes her oatmeal
* Polina really hasnt been drinking all that much so we hope that she is okay...we make whatever she eats more moist to make up for it, but she doesnt want any water, or juices or anything
* Polina has been great with family and friends as well
* Daddy still isnt smart enough to figure out how the car seat works yet, but thinks he has it now
* She was terrified of the two cats, but seems to like them now and pets them nicely and even feeds them with her spoon (yeah, we know.. a little yucky)

Thanks everyone for the well wishes and support doing this process! It has meant so much to have a community of friends (more like family) that has been there to compare notes with and to get advice from! bloggers rule!

-Randy and Maggie

Pictures of Maggie's family and Polina feeding Bella....

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Home at last!!!!!!!!!!!

long journey...Polina threw a tantrum to start the flight, and then was fine for the rest of the 10 hours until we landed and then she wanted to get out (and so did we). Glad to be home...will post more later

Saturday, November 13, 2010

2 more days and finally going home!!!!

We bought thermometer yesterday because I was freaking out that her temp might be too high and we also bought baby orajel. she slept like 6 hours through the night but was waking up on and off just like us. She did have some apple juice in the morning just a couple of sips on her own so that was a big surprise. She seems to like going downstairs for breakfast and sit and sit in the high chair it seems like thats when she eats the most otherwise she doesn't want anything to drink or eat. It really stresses me out and I feel like crying. 2 more days and we will finally be home can't wait because her schedule and the time is really stressing her out and us at the same time. I checked in her mouth when she woke up and there it is another tooth comming in on the top. You can see a little point sticking out and I think thats why she has been so fussy. I put some orajel on their and it seems to help. She's up now and upste because she wants to run around in the hallway but its only like 5 a.m here and there is no way we can let her do that. We will get dressed and head downstairs in the lobby and that will make her smile.

Still not eating / drinking much

We assume other families had similar experiences, but Polina really does eat or drink much at all. It comes and goes in spurts. One day she downs half a bottle of water in one sitting, then today she barely drinks anything (maybe a few sips). We know she is teething (or we think she is at least). The orphanage force-fed her, so we think that feeding time isnt a favorite time of hers. We try to experiment with different foods and bottles / juices, but she wont even put them in her mouth to try.

Other folks have similar experiences? thx!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Maybe teething?

So Polina met with Dr. Boris (of course that's his name) yesterday and he said that she was teething but otherwise healthy and a Momma's girl. Yesterday Polina really enjoyed a water bottle and drank a lot.

Last night she was tossing and woke up a few times. This morning she kept pointing to her mouth and crying. We think she is teething for sure. She feels a little warm, so we cant tell if she has a temperature and is sick, or just a side effect of teething. This morning at breakfast she threw up a lot of liquid. We are thinking it was from all of the water yesterday.

Any thoughts? Should we take her to a doctor? Should we get a thermometer? She doesnt like any teething toys. Thanks everyone....we want to make her comfortable but not sure just how!

Randy and Maggie

Music video of our trip...enjoy!

A video of our 2nd trip...

Busy day in Moscow...

Today was a busy day. Of course Polina got up at midnight, so we played for a few hours before a 2-4am nap. Then she kept us moving as we walked her around the hotel lobby and floor until breakfast. The hotel breakfast was AMAZING...especially compared to the last 2+ weeks in Vladivostok! Polina loved the porridge and croissant.

We then took her to the doctor, who said she was fine but going to be a "momma's girl", but we already knew that! Then off for Visa photo pictures (which she was VERY grumpy for), and then a tour of Moscow. The tour was great and she was quite the trooper. Lucky our driver gave us a stroller to use. Of course, we ended the day at McDonalds since Maggie had been craving some cheese burgers for weeks now. Some pictures are below....

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Made it to Moscow

Wow, that 9.5 hr flight was a long one. Polina sleeps thru the night real well, but her over-cautious new parents dont really sleep well. We left Vladivostok and took the long flight to Moscow. Polina didnt really nap at all due to the noise, other babies crying and foreign noises. She was fine the first 4 hours, and then from hrs 5-9 she was cranky. The hour drive to the hotel she was still cranky. She doesnt really scream all that much, more like whinny cries. That could have been a much more painful flight then it was! Of course, all she wants is Mommy to comfort her so Maggie did the bulk of sitting with her. Well, she has been up now for almost 24 hours but is playing in the room. Hopefully that means all of us will sleep well tonight.

Tomorrow, US Embassy and walking tour of Moscow. Should be a good day! We cant wait to get home though. Some pictures...including her favorite fishy face that she does and the LONG flight from Vladivostok to Moscow.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Finally heading for Moscow tomorrow!!

Polina has been adjusting really well even though it was only one day. She slept through the whole night 8-6 a.m. randy and I not so well. we would check on her constantly through the night if she's breathing and any little noise she would make we would be right up checking on her. We have to work on her eating. She eats like a little bird.I don't know if its all the mushy food and she ready for something new like macaroni and cheese lol. She likes her russian teddy bears and likes to run around in the hotel. She was actually slapping strangers hands and waving to them. She has been smiling,giggling and babbling with us. We have taken peoples advice and made a bigger hole in the nipple. She can now hold the bottle and drink by herself. we will work on the sippy cup situation when we get home. Right now she is taking her nap,we will try to stick to the schedule so the transition to our house becomes easier for her.We will try to post pictures from Moscow of her smiling finally.

Question on bottles

For those bloggers that adopted, we have a question. What type of cups did you get for your kids? We got a few different types of bottles, but Polina doesnt like them. She just likes to drink from a cup. What were your experiences? Did you teach them to use a bottle, or just stick with the cup? Thx!

Now introducing.........Polina Helaine Wills!!!

Gotcha day was a success! We picked up her new adoption certificate and birth certificate and applied for her Russian passport, which we pick up tomorrow. We picked up a few cakes for the orphanage staff and headed over. The earlier snow/ice storm couldnt stop us from picking up our little princess!

We picked her up and she didnt cry the entire car ride back to the hotel. She was really enjoying and amazed at the sites of the drive. We made it to the hotel, and she has been playing with her new toys (a music instrument and russian stuffed animals that speak Russian). Cant believe today is here and we are loving every minute of it! Some pictures for folks to enjoy.......

Monday, November 8, 2010

Gotcha Day is Tomorrow - Questions for our blogger friends...

Well, tomorrow is gotcha day! We spent time with her today, but she is still a little scared of us. She loves to press the buttons on the camera, and our grocery store receipt is still a favorite play item!

We have some questions for those of you that have already adopted:
* How and when did u get the child's Social Security number?
* More specifically, how did u add them to your health insurance....did u need the SS# to do it? We have a doctor appt when we get back, and want to make sure she is covered.
* Flying....were you allowed baby food? How much? What about bottled apple juice? Just wondering what they will / wont allow us to carry on the plane.

Thanks everyone! Will post pictures shortly....

Randy & Maggie

Friday, November 5, 2010

3 days until "gotcha" day

So this past week we were able to meet up with Corinne and Darren at the Clever House shopping mall for dinner at our favorite Korean place up top. Was nice to chat with some Americans as everyone in the hotel we are staying at seems to be Asian business persons.

We then met up with Sabrina and Georgio and we also ate at the Korean place, and then took a walking tour of downtown Vlad. There was an outdoor market with different foods, fruits, and seafood as we made our way towards the submarine park area. Its nice to meet up with other bloggers here in Vlad!

Sleep continues to be a struggle....besides the hard beds, on the weekends downtown turns into the "fast and furious" where motorcycles rev and race all night long and screech their tires. Our guide told us it made the news the other day, but doesnt seem to stop them. Last night was no different. At least my iPod drones some of it out! Some new pics of the market, church bells, and stuff we purchased to get ready for gotcha day.....

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

5 more days to go!!!!!!!!!!

We are counting down the days till we finally pick up our daughter. I am so looking forward going to Moscow.I hope the beds are more comfortable there. We have been waking up like 3 times a night the beds are hard as a rock and my body just can't take it anymore.We have visited all the places that we can around here and now we are counting down every minute of the day. It's pretty boring here so we spent our time on the laptop,watching the same shows over and over or playing a game of UNO. We love going to the orphanage because it breaks up the day. Now due to the 4 day Russian Holiday its a maybe if we'll see our daughter on friday,than we have the weekend,than we see her on monday and get her on Tuesday. We cant wait!

Monday, November 1, 2010

7 days to go....

Today was a good day. We got to visit our little princess, and traffic was even down saving us the typical extra hour in stop and go traffic on the already hour and a half trip. We got to try and feed our daughter, but she wasnt having any of it. She is very comfortable with her caregivers, but afraid of strangers. We are still strangers and understand that. She does warm up to us, but it usually takes a little time.

We then drove her over to the local photographer for her passport picture. She must not have been in a car since being dropped off, because she screamed and then enjoyed seeing all of the sights. The village that she lives in is interesting...roads are terrible, everything is made of soviet-era concrete and rebar and is crumbling around. Of course the women are all dressed up with high heels, full makeup and designer clothes. Always an interesting mix considering the surroundings!

We have tomorrow free to do whatever (which means more reading, some walking around and just counting down the hours) and then we see our princess again on Wednesday. Another day closer to getting her!!!!!

Some pictures...
Our favorite grocery store

Maggie enjoying a Korean meal for dinner

Outside the photography place in Artem

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Some pictures from Vlad...

Some pictures from Vladivostok...

Trying to keep busy

Since we wont see our little one until Monday, we decided to enjoy the day exploring Vladivostok. Luckily, we still had our map from last time and went exploring. We ventured into a few shopping centers. The Clever House shopping center was great. We bought a few Russian trinkets (Christmas ornament, gifts for folks, etc..), some wooden Russian toys for our little one, chocolates for folks back home (really tasty!) and then enjoyed lunch at a Korean place, which was the best meal we have had all week. Because Vlad is so close to Korea / Japan, there is a heavy Asian influence here.

Was a nice walk, and now we are relaxing before dinner. Tomorrow we will explore some more. 1 down, 9 to go in our 10 day wait!

Randy & Maggie

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Court successful!

Well, after making it thru the 8 doctor medical, today we made it thru court. Our court lasted approx. an hour or so, and was successful! The judge and prosecutor were nice, but asked detailed questions ensuring that we really understood what we are getting ourselves into.

Now, we have to wait the 10 days to get her. After the 10 day wait, we will post more information. Thank you everyone for your support over this period....the love of our friends, blogging community, and family has really helped us get thru this process! Thank you everyone and more to come!

- A happy family

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Here we are

Well, we made it to Russia. Got to visit her yesterday and she has grown! Walking on her own, playing with toys, and can point to things. She was scared of us, but that's expected. We are nervous about court on Friday, but will try and stay positive.

Question...when we visited her she had what looked like bug bites on her face and hands. They put blue stuff on it and told us it wasnt scabbies or chicken pox. Another little girl that we saw also had the blue stuff. Assume it was for the itching, but anyone else seen or heard of this? Thoughts? Thx

-Randy and Maggie

Monday, October 18, 2010

We are finally leaving this week!!!!!

Our suitcases are packed and we are ready to go. My sister will come over and clean the house for me and will also do groceries for us so we don't return to an empty refrigerator.My mom said she will make a us all kinds of food like chicken cutlets and potatoes. I have such an amazing family who is always going out of their way to help us out.We are excited,scared ,nervous,just all these emotions running through us. we are 99% sure things will go well but there is always that 1% that something can go wrong. We will be so happy after it's all over and maybe finally we can get some good night of sleep. So that's about that. I will try to write and keep everyone posted once we are there..............................Talk to all of you later.....Please pray for us!!!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Got our visas!!!!!!

We are so very excited...I just cant wait to finally hold her and kiss her. It feels like we have been waiting forever for this moment to happen. I just cant wait to share photos and especially her name with everyone. We are nervous for the court and it will be a huge relief when it's finally over. We received our visas today so that makes it one step closer....we will have a baby shower when we get home. We didn't want to be disappointed if something went wrong. We will enjoy the baby shower after she is in our arms till than we are still cautious.we pretty much got everything ready the baby gates are up and we also made her a doctors appt. Our families are really excited of meeting her especially nieces and nephews. My nephew told me that he will share all the toys with her,well we shall see about that one. that's about it for now. We are taking a laptop with us so hopefully I can write when we are there. wish us luck!!!!

Sunday, October 3, 2010


* If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope.

* If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower, then you still have hope.

* If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, then you still have hope.

* If the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.

* If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope.

* If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.

* If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, then you still have hope.

* If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.

* If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope.

* If you give people the benefit of a doubt, then you still have hope.

* If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, then you still have hope.

* If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.

* If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, then you still have hope.

* If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.

* If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, then you still have hope.

* If you still buy the ornaments, put up the Christmas tree or cook the turkey, then you still have hope.

* If you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.

* If you can look to the past and smile, then you still have hope.

* If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase...."yeah....BUT.." then you still have hope.

* Hope is such a marvelous thing. It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break. It sustains us when nothing else can. It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we'd rather give in.

* Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage.

* Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it.

* Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.

* Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured, and something that will refresh us in return. And it can be found in each of us, and it can bring light into the darkest of places.


[ by: Brenda K. Hager Copyright © 2005 -- submitted by: Brenda K. Hager ]

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

very busy!!

We have been very busy well I should say my husband .He does the majority of the paperwork. We had to re-do a lot of the paperwork and we finally finished yesterday now it just has to be apostilled. Things are going well except for one thing that came up. I am not sure how its going to work out and if it will but hopefully it will and I can share it with everyone. I feel like days are not passing fast enough. We really miss our strawberry shortcake and can't wait to finally hold her. We also did fingerprints again even though they don't expire till December we just rather be safe than sorry. I am so very happy to be reading other peoples blogs and I see that two of them got court dates in October also. I am glad that things seem to be moving along. I know that Chad and Sarah have been waiting for so long and I pray that they will too get their court date. that's about it for now..Just counting down the days!!!!!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Second trip?

Okay folks...what advice do u have for the second trip? This will be the 3.5 weeker where we do everything from court in Vlad, to embassy in Moscow. What are the top things we need to bring? What did u bring that you didnt need? What other advice? thanks everyone! (now...back to final paperwork)

Friday, September 17, 2010

We have a court date!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today we got the news that it will be on October 29th.... I just can't wait to see my little girl and finally bring her home. We are so excited. We will know for sure on Monday if its set in stone.....

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Some new info!!!

Today we heard that our documents should be submitted to court next week. The reason that they werent submitted yet was because our strawberry shortcakes paper work wasnt ready and everything should be ready by next week. I hope we hear something soon and they also told us that our little girl is doing well so thats good news. Its been 2 months we are so ready to bring her home...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Waiting,waiting and more waiting!

No news yet...I don't even know if the judge is even looking at all our paperwork. I know that they got the papers and they were getting translated and re-notorized. We are getting our homestudy updated because it expires in Sepetember for Russian Adoptions. I just want to go already especially when I went on FRUA and read another russian child abuse story. I think I better just stop reading all of this. It's like I wanna know and be informed but than I read the blogs and FRUA and than I get even more nervous and stressed that things will go wrong. God,give us the strenght to make it through all of this. This is just so so hard and it feels lkie its getting harder.Sorry about my whining I am just totally down after reading the story on FRUA.I just don't understand why people do such things.....and I don't think I'll ever will. I miss my baby girl so much...