Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought,  without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their  children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read  more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are  those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will  marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of  my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am  not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another  shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight,  this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends  will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God  leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better  wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister  because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have  been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood  tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in  order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in  theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I  have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of  other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and  when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes  with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.
I don't know who wrote it...
 
1 comment:
Wow I love it ~ it made me cry :)
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